Heroed

Pronunciation:\ˈhir-(ˌ)ō,dē-\

Function: verb

1: to reduce to a less than spectacular shell of a once great endeavor : 2 to damage irreparably 3: to subject to frustration, failure, or disaster intransitive verb: to become heroed.

Fuck Tim Kring. In case you’re ignorant, Kring is the Executive “Producer” of the NBC series Heroes. According to Wikipedia, Kring “was an Emmy Award nominee in 2007 for Outstanding Drama Series as the producer for Heroes. He was also named one of the Masters of Sci Fi TV for his work on the series.”

Well that was then, and this is now. And now, Heroes just flat out sucks. Why do shows with so much potential not called Lost always end up terrible? Well the answer is pretty simple: Shoddy storyline after shoddy storyline with more terrible acting than an episode of Blossom has left Heroes a pitiful shell of its once magnificent self. Also, Kring and co. wrote themselves into a corner by succumbing to the pitfall of superman syndrome (making your character too powerful and constantly backtracking and coming up with stupid reasons why they can’t dominate everyone, e.g. Peter Patrelli can “only hold onto one power at a time”). I figure the brainstorming sessions between Kring and his no-talent ass-clowns went a little something like this…..

Some ass-clown producer: “Tim, we have to find out a way to make sure Peter can’t just dominate everyone since he can take any power.”

Tim: “I got it! We’ll throw in a one liner about how Peter can only hold onto one power at a time and not bother to explain why, even though Mohinder was totally reverted when he got the serum!”

Ass-clown: “That’s perfect!”

Tim: “Print it!”

To sum it up, Tim Kring heroed the superhero tv show genre. And that is not cool.

Word

Pronunciation: \ˈwərd\

Function: adverb

Date: 06 February 2009

1 —used as a function word to express assent or agreement. (are you ready? Word, I am)

Chris: “You ready for this show tonight!?!”
Ryan: “Word, hopefully I get a beejer after.”

I like music. And I’ve discovered that I really like live music. But recently I was told that live music is not a concert. Live music is a “show”. I think this is stupid, and I will continue to call live music a concert. So fuck you. I think part of the reason I like live concerts is because I am in love with hipster chicks, and besides the awesome taste in music we have in common, there really isn’t much else to use to get in their pants. That being said, I still haven’t actually hooked up with a Detroit hipster chick. This needs to change ASAP. If anyone is interested….see you tomorrow at The Jim Shaw Benefit CONCERT at the Magic Stick. Word.

Unducation

Pronunciation: \ˌən-jə-ˈkā-shən\

Function: noun

Date: 2009

1 a: the action or process of un-educating or of being made dumber. ; also : a stage of such a process b: the brain-drain resulting from an experience which leaves you less educated than when you began


I have been unducated since starting law school. When I meet someone new and they ask me what I do for a living, I tell them I am in school. Then they ask, “What are you studying?” I hesitantly answer, “Law, I am in law school”. BAM!

As soon as I utter those words, the tone of the conversation totally changes. People seem to think that law students are smart. They also think that they will make a lot of money (ha!). But in actuality, being in law school ONLY makes you a smarter lawyer. That’s just about it. When it comes to important stuff like interpersonal communication and not being a pompous asshole, law school unducates you. If you like to be locked in a cube with your bffs Glannon and Emmanuel for 60 hours a week, then this is the place for you. Those social skills you used to have quickly disappear and you are turned into a cubicle-troll reading about fucking res ipsa loquitur. And for fuck's sake, if I have to meet one more law student who tosses around legal terminology and big words I am going to lay the smack down. That little exchange I referenced between me and jo-schmo above doesn’t help with the whole ego thing. Much weaker minded individuals than me are essentially star-fucked when someone starts giving them respect for being “smart” based solely on the fact that they are in law school. Getting r-e-s-p-e-c-t left and right for being “s-m-r-t”, I mean “s-m-a-r-r-t” can really turn you into a pompous prick pretty damn quick. When it comes to all the important stuff in life, law school leads to unducation.

Neologism

pronunciation: \nē-ˈä-lə-ˌji-zəm\

function: noun

etymology: french néologisme, from ne- + log- + -isme -ism

date: 1803

1 : a new word, usage, or expression
2 : a meaningless word coined by a psychotic